schedule
March 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Interesting start would like to see where you go with this. My only problem is you have every thing so compressed. When you change who is talking you are supposed to start a new paragraph. You also need to add descriptions so we know where the characters are. Remember we the readers can't go into your head and see what you are visualizing if you don't write it down right.
Please update soon.
Please update soon.