rate_review Reviews

Sexy and sweet, this. Most excellent.

Is this still going on? It hasn't been updated in a while now and I am looking forward to seeing the reaction of what appears to be Sweety Belle when she sees what Rarity is doing

Discord and Pinkie would be a good match with their crazy personalities and all. Plus, Discord could mess with the spell and give her chocolate breast milk.

this is awesome, please update soon.

Just read chapter 5.
It was incredibly sweet and once again, you nailed the characters spot on.

I also agree that at least postponing the sex is a good move and does not detract from the quality of the story.

I suggest you proofread a little more before posting to work on grammar and accidental word placement as, for a momenr, it seemed that twilight and spike had been into S&M, though I caught the typo.

I loved it and Spike should be the one to take her virginity from Rarity and be her boyfriend and lover because nobody treats her better then hem please let them get together and date each other as boyfriend and girlfriend I'd love that so much I can't wait to see what happens next between them and what happens next

Well... What can I say. You had my curiosity now you have my attention.
See this is ingenious if that was really Twilight looking... A two toned purple hairs FILLY! Key word there. If it is Twilight this brings important questions, how will she react to this, for one Rarity had let Spike take from her breast; that my have been the point, but the implications that would have are astronomical now that Spike has admitted that Rarity tastes better. See? I've thought of Twilight as a yandere in this fic, evidence supports my claim, she will wonder what if Spike likes Rarity's milk too much? It's already implied here that Rarity would put out more for Spike, if he so asked, so Twilight would feel threatened add to the fact Twilights OCD issues and the close relationship Twilight and Spike have, and you have a powder keg with a lit fuse. Racking my brain here to think of another option, maybe Sweetiee hell but she doesn't have a purple mane.
Really trying to enjoy this story, I'm so desperately trying to enjoy this story but I can't. When I get into it you had little mistakes in It that drive me up the proverbial wall. Like having her in place of he, starting off an idea and quickly changing it mid sentence. These are why proofreaders are important I'm 56% sure any person here would love to proofread for you. I sure as hell want to, so take advantage of that fact and get a necessary second opinion.

Setup chapter? I highly enjoyed it and feel proper setup is needed for a propper story.

Somehow I can't help but feel that Twilight is yandere in a sense. Here she is, already proposed a rather promiscuous opertunity, to protect her and Spike's relationship. Going to extreme lengths to save his reputation while paying little to her own or those around her, seen here by her manipulating Rarity rather skillfully to take in Spike, even knowing his... Disposition, as it were. While I see that this story is going great, yeah great, I cannot help but fathom.
If Twilight would go so far simply to please Spike, what would she do if Spike decided to leave her for someone else? People emotions changed in stories rather drastically and usually you should draw a lot from nothing. Here singles clues are given that Rairty is rather excited by the prospect of Spike's disposition, make you wonder, well not you as the author, but me as a reader.

Somthing i'm missing a bit is how their bodies are reacting. I mean, does it just feel good in a pure tactile way (like say, a massage), or are they actually getting aroused by it? And did Big Mac pitch a tent or was he able to focus on just the drinking without actually thinking about what he was drinking it from?