rate_review Reviews

Please, please, please: If you're going to write a rape scene, put the warning on your story. I don't want to read forced sex on my down time - it's not entertaining for me.

Before you got to that, though, there were a couple of technical things that I wanted to bring to your attention. You use the word smell or a variation thereof four times in the first paragraph. Redundancy will detract from the readability of a piece.

The sentences I'm referring to are

The wind was nice and warm, though for some reason it held an odd smell I had never smelt before. Something foreign yet nice, musky yet dangerous. It made me curious, it made me want to explore the smell, find out where it was and see who or what it belonged to. The smell intoxicated me, made me feel a little dizzy and sometimes I even thought of stopping and actually looking for the source.

If I were to alter them, they would look something more like

The wind was nice and warm, though for some reason it held an odd smell carried a strange scent I had never smelt encountered before. Something foreign yet but nice, musky yet dangerous. It made me curious, it made me want to explore the smell enticing aroma,. I wanted to find out where it was and see who to whom or what it belonged to. The smell intoxicated me, made me feel a little dizzy and sometimes I even thought of stopping and actually looking actively seeking for the source.

Using synonyms adds variety to your piece, keeping your readers from becoming bored by reading repetitive statements, which will cause them to leave your story.

Obviously, I don't have much to say about the rest of the tale - like I said, rapefic isn't my cuppa. I'd much appreciate it, as a reader to a writer, if you'd warn that you're going to do that.