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May 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Oh, that "sparring" scene at the end...so much hotness. Blaze is terribly evil, but I love him so much, and it's clear that Trax is going to succumb to his machinations. Loved the training sim; it felt very genuine, very in-universe. Of course, Traxis being his natural, awesome self, (playing hero), got him in "trouble" with Blaze.
Coric is awesome as well; really, you've done such an amazing job with this fic. :D
Coric is awesome as well; really, you've done such an amazing job with this fic. :D
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May 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
You have created an outstanding sense of tension between Blaze and Traxis, particularly through Blaze's sense of restraint. I must admit I was surprised when Blaze walked away at the end of the chapter, and didn't press his advantage, considering it was late at night and they had the training room to themselves. The fact that he left Traxis there, and walked off, just builds up the tension and suspense. Very intriguing story.
Also enjoy the other threads you have going through the story, such as Traxis' nerve injury and his concern about being able to shoot properly, the rebuilding of the team after Teth, the relationship between Coric and Traxis, and Traxis' lack of confidence in himself. You have a lot of interesting arcs going on in this story, and it has been interesting to see how you are developing them all as the story is building.
Also enjoy the other threads you have going through the story, such as Traxis' nerve injury and his concern about being able to shoot properly, the rebuilding of the team after Teth, the relationship between Coric and Traxis, and Traxis' lack of confidence in himself. You have a lot of interesting arcs going on in this story, and it has been interesting to see how you are developing them all as the story is building.
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May 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Great job with some complex interactions and emotions! The intensity of it really comes through; a red hot, whirlwind affair with the absolute wrong kind of man
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April 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Blaze is officially a jerk.......but freakin' sexy, darn it. T_T Good start, Jade. You've got me hooked! I'm not sure I'm going to like where this story takes us....but you've written it so well, it's very compelling. Looking forward to the next installment!!
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April 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Love this. Blaze seems so dark, and Trax so vulnerable.
Great the way you worked in Echo and Fives running out of the closet, especially since we just read THAT fic last Sunday. That brought me a good chuckle.
All of Blaze's innuedos were both cracking me up and making me groan. The references to the bitches and the deeces were too funny.
Can't wait to see how this one progresses. I can see how this guy would both see off alarm bells but also draw Trax to him. He is the consumate "bad boy" that we all want to avoid, but seem drawn to like a magnet. Like that box of dark chocolates that screams our name and then we end up eating the whole box even though we know we shouldn't put that luscious thing in our mouth... So bad, yet so good at the same time...
Great the way you worked in Echo and Fives running out of the closet, especially since we just read THAT fic last Sunday. That brought me a good chuckle.
All of Blaze's innuedos were both cracking me up and making me groan. The references to the bitches and the deeces were too funny.
Can't wait to see how this one progresses. I can see how this guy would both see off alarm bells but also draw Trax to him. He is the consumate "bad boy" that we all want to avoid, but seem drawn to like a magnet. Like that box of dark chocolates that screams our name and then we end up eating the whole box even though we know we shouldn't put that luscious thing in our mouth... So bad, yet so good at the same time...
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April 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM
[applauds] So happy to see this start going "live!" I'm so in awe of how you've fleshed out my OCs; Trax was fairly well-established, but under your (incredibly) capable hand he's been give new depths, of which we've only seen the beginning of, here. Blaze, who was only mentioned once, is...just astonishing. He's clearly a bad guy, but I love him all the same. His evil-ness, his urge to manipulate and control make him such a compelling guy to read.
Love the detail you've put into this fic. Immediately I'm transported to the Resolute along with the boys, and everything *feels* so real...it's like stepping inside a (racy! :P) episode of the show - except with excellent writing. ;)
Fives & Echo...heh. Naughty boys...
The flametroopers. Love the entire mini-world you've created for these guys, right down to their pack mentality and their wildly inappropriate and hyper-masculine slang for their weapons - "bitches." :D I'm so in awe of you for fleshing them out to such an incredible degree. The competitiveness between Blaze and Rook is filled with tension, and it seems like poor Trax is going to get caught in the middle of it all. ;)
One thing that you did that I really love was the very subtle way that Blaze notices Trax's interest in other men. While I imagine that more than a few clone troopers took pleasure from one another, there seems to be a distinct difference with the way that a fellow like Trax "sizes up" [smirk] another clone, and I love how Blaze latches on to that first, then how he figures out Trax's secret vulnerability.
Love the double entendre and heavy-flirtation in the interactions between Blaze and Traxis. Poor Traxis doesn't stand a chance. Everything about these guys together is so charged and packed...it's making for a delicious and compelling read! :D
Again, you've done a tremendous job with my OCs, and I'm beyond thrilled with how this story has gone! I should really be thanking you, or George. Perhaps both. :P
Love the detail you've put into this fic. Immediately I'm transported to the Resolute along with the boys, and everything *feels* so real...it's like stepping inside a (racy! :P) episode of the show - except with excellent writing. ;)
Fives & Echo...heh. Naughty boys...
The flametroopers. Love the entire mini-world you've created for these guys, right down to their pack mentality and their wildly inappropriate and hyper-masculine slang for their weapons - "bitches." :D I'm so in awe of you for fleshing them out to such an incredible degree. The competitiveness between Blaze and Rook is filled with tension, and it seems like poor Trax is going to get caught in the middle of it all. ;)
One thing that you did that I really love was the very subtle way that Blaze notices Trax's interest in other men. While I imagine that more than a few clone troopers took pleasure from one another, there seems to be a distinct difference with the way that a fellow like Trax "sizes up" [smirk] another clone, and I love how Blaze latches on to that first, then how he figures out Trax's secret vulnerability.
Love the double entendre and heavy-flirtation in the interactions between Blaze and Traxis. Poor Traxis doesn't stand a chance. Everything about these guys together is so charged and packed...it's making for a delicious and compelling read! :D
Again, you've done a tremendous job with my OCs, and I'm beyond thrilled with how this story has gone! I should really be thanking you, or George. Perhaps both. :P