rate_review Reviews

Many people who deal with hardship on a regular basis develop a naive veneer in a (usually) subconscious effort to avoid attracting attention and pity. Carina may fall into this category; it certainly can't be pleasant to have your parents almost constantly under threat throughout the formative years of one's life, and Carina was unusually comprehending during this time as well.

So that's the way it's going to appear if you want to make Carina's character a little deeper later on, and you keep her acting young now. I think she needs to 'grow up' quickly, myself, if we (the readers) are to relate to her character.

Either that, or she is already so mature that she sees these patterns and she is able to disregard the whole thing, and just enjoy herself. There are plenty of options.

I just stole that question about whether Carina's acting too much like a kid from Max Jordan. Sorry about that; he should feel free to answer as well.

Sorry I haven't reviewed up until now, I only just noticed your Team Alphanumeric fic. By 'only just noticed' I mean a couple of weeks ago, but I just finished reading now... in my defense, it was long, and I was busy with other things.

Incidentally, (that's a minor misuse of the word incidentally there, but I'm no Lexiconian so I'm allowed these lapses) I kept hoping, particularly at the start, that you would work in some terrible cross-disciplinary Maths/English puns, like hyperbole/hyperbolae, for instance. That isn't a suggestion, though, it might make it a little inaccessible for some readers.

Just one last thing, your mistakes worsened toward the latter part of Team Alphanumeric, in terms of spelling. No need to get it perfect, but it's just irritating to see things like 'at tourney' for 'attorney' which could probably have been avoided by a brief glance in the spell-checker window to see that it should obviously be one word.

One other last thing (yeah, that's paradoxical, I know): I've only realised just now as I write this review that Alphanumeric is a real word, not just something you made up. Which is great.

One other last thing (...see above) - good work, I've enjoyed it so far.

A teenage girl on a new planet for the first time? You're lucky she's not bouncing off the walls. But if you want an example of how a teenage girl acts in a new situation I recommend a six issue mini series called Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade. Now conveniently in trade paperback form at amazon.

Strike at the heart, eh? I have a sneaking suspiscion who Big's mysterious benefactor is but I'll hold my tongue for now.

And it begins. Nice little start so far, but Karategirl, really? Anyway I saw you started the other fic too. It's just fine if you want to do both, but are you sure you can handle two stories at once? I've done that before and trust me, it's not fun.

Well don't forget who Arianna's parents are. She'll have Tobey's robotics smarts as well. Pehaps she could use robotic devices to enhance her speed strength and aglity to better keep up with Carina. And her lyrical mind from Violet would come up with a creative name to describe that, say Quickstrike?