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February 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Arent u gonna continue the story?????!!
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May 18, 2012 at 12:00 AM
O please write more!
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April 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Great to see you're still writing! I hope your job situation has improved.
Azula's reaction to the idea of her brother being pregnant was... excessive, to say the least. Wonder what that was all about...
The dream tied in beautifully to Zuko's reality at the end. You took an interesting angle with Ursa, and you certainly didn't skimp on the more gruesome imagery of her death and the aftermath. It's very saddening to know she's dead in your story; she's definitely a favorite of mine, and her presence could've helped guide Zuko in ways Iroh, unfortunately, can never hope to. The trials of being a mother -- and of being seen as a potential bearer of heirs -- are a burden only she could share with him. It's a regrettable loss, but if she can speak to him through his dreams, it's something.
Roku's part was nicely executed as well.
It looks like you're aiming to redeem Azula in some form. While I'm admittedly not a fan of redemption for her (to the contrary), you've presented it in a unique way, so props for that.
You continue to employ humor in unexpectedly creative ways: "Uncle smiled lightly and took the offered scroll with a soft, “Thank you,” before closing the door on the messenger and untying the ribbon and stuffing the ribbon into his robe. (What his Uncle wanted with that ribbon, Zuko didn’t want to know.)"
Looking forward to the next installment! Again, I hope things have improved on your end.
Azula's reaction to the idea of her brother being pregnant was... excessive, to say the least. Wonder what that was all about...
The dream tied in beautifully to Zuko's reality at the end. You took an interesting angle with Ursa, and you certainly didn't skimp on the more gruesome imagery of her death and the aftermath. It's very saddening to know she's dead in your story; she's definitely a favorite of mine, and her presence could've helped guide Zuko in ways Iroh, unfortunately, can never hope to. The trials of being a mother -- and of being seen as a potential bearer of heirs -- are a burden only she could share with him. It's a regrettable loss, but if she can speak to him through his dreams, it's something.
Roku's part was nicely executed as well.
It looks like you're aiming to redeem Azula in some form. While I'm admittedly not a fan of redemption for her (to the contrary), you've presented it in a unique way, so props for that.
You continue to employ humor in unexpectedly creative ways: "Uncle smiled lightly and took the offered scroll with a soft, “Thank you,” before closing the door on the messenger and untying the ribbon and stuffing the ribbon into his robe. (What his Uncle wanted with that ribbon, Zuko didn’t want to know.)"
Looking forward to the next installment! Again, I hope things have improved on your end.
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November 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi i love this story so i hope you update it soon
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August 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Aah noo where i need more chapters!! I know i shouldnt start uncompleted stories if i cant wait >.< daaammn and this is aff.net, i cant add an alert like on ff.net ... Hmm maybe i find it on ff.net ? ... Anyway, interesting story! Poor zuko T.T and now azula!! the crazy psycho >.< are you going to make zuko suffer more T.T please update soon!
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August 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Loving the story... but I would suggest that you move this story to the General section, it would garner more exposure there, or the regular Slash archive instead of the AU archive.
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August 9, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I am loving this story so far, great job!!!
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July 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
wow just wow there is so much to talk about!!
loved Jet's confused lust over zuko and how it's shown, as when he is insulting him he still uses words like " beautiful" to discribe him.
zuko's characterization was brilliant and so true to cannon with his opinion of his granted death he still sticks around to try to save his uncle instead!!
really injoying the Kuei/zuko pairing which is still surprizing me as i've never really thought about till i read your story so well done and keep it up ill be following your work :)
cya next time!! L.D
loved Jet's confused lust over zuko and how it's shown, as when he is insulting him he still uses words like " beautiful" to discribe him.
zuko's characterization was brilliant and so true to cannon with his opinion of his granted death he still sticks around to try to save his uncle instead!!
really injoying the Kuei/zuko pairing which is still surprizing me as i've never really thought about till i read your story so well done and keep it up ill be following your work :)
cya next time!! L.D
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July 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ahhh... I really liked this chapter. Its so nice to see the tender feelings between the price and the king, eventhough Zuko feels a bit down.
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July 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed my review.
It's all right. Let the story evolve without having to commit to something you aren't sure of. Even if Zuko and Kuei don't end up together, I'll still enjoy it. :)
Long Feng/Zuko does seem like more and more of an impossibility now, and that's okay, too.
The opening interactions with the gAang started off on a light note as Sokka kicked around the idea of Zuko really being a girl, but they quickly darkened with the mention of the miscarriage. Aang was appropriately confused, Toph indignant, and Jet torn by the possibility of the lost baby being his. You do a really good job of portraying emotions and making the transition from one scene to the next.
The Generals behaved very believably when dealing with a child Avatar, some showing skepticism and others support for Aang.
Poor Zuko. As soon as Kuei announces the nearing wedding, he also -- unintentionally -- makes the boy feel devalued by the pressure to bear an heir. I wonder how those feelings will play out. Kuei was still very supportive even though the accidental implication, and that will hopefully put Zuko more at ease.
You made a point of calling Ty Lee tiny, but please note that Azula looks to be only an inch or two taller than her and is rather tiny herself! The official height chart from Comic Con '05 shows her to be 5' even. (Here's a link to it: http://i54.tinypic.com/m8gxzc.jpg) I apologize for the quality, but it's the best I could find. Aang is listed at 4.5 feet (which is another way of saying 4'6"), Azula's head (minus the topknot, which doesn't count) is right at the line for 5 feet, and Zuko looks to be about 5'3". I've noticed many writers tend to make Azula average or even tall, which is erroneous, especially when you look at her in relation to the rest of the cast. More characters are taller than her than shorter. This is a visual tool to keep things in perspective. You hadn't commented on Azula's build, but this could help if you decide to. Ty Lee isn't the only petite girl in the group. ;)
It's all right. Let the story evolve without having to commit to something you aren't sure of. Even if Zuko and Kuei don't end up together, I'll still enjoy it. :)
Long Feng/Zuko does seem like more and more of an impossibility now, and that's okay, too.
The opening interactions with the gAang started off on a light note as Sokka kicked around the idea of Zuko really being a girl, but they quickly darkened with the mention of the miscarriage. Aang was appropriately confused, Toph indignant, and Jet torn by the possibility of the lost baby being his. You do a really good job of portraying emotions and making the transition from one scene to the next.
The Generals behaved very believably when dealing with a child Avatar, some showing skepticism and others support for Aang.
Poor Zuko. As soon as Kuei announces the nearing wedding, he also -- unintentionally -- makes the boy feel devalued by the pressure to bear an heir. I wonder how those feelings will play out. Kuei was still very supportive even though the accidental implication, and that will hopefully put Zuko more at ease.
You made a point of calling Ty Lee tiny, but please note that Azula looks to be only an inch or two taller than her and is rather tiny herself! The official height chart from Comic Con '05 shows her to be 5' even. (Here's a link to it: http://i54.tinypic.com/m8gxzc.jpg) I apologize for the quality, but it's the best I could find. Aang is listed at 4.5 feet (which is another way of saying 4'6"), Azula's head (minus the topknot, which doesn't count) is right at the line for 5 feet, and Zuko looks to be about 5'3". I've noticed many writers tend to make Azula average or even tall, which is erroneous, especially when you look at her in relation to the rest of the cast. More characters are taller than her than shorter. This is a visual tool to keep things in perspective. You hadn't commented on Azula's build, but this could help if you decide to. Ty Lee isn't the only petite girl in the group. ;)