rate_review Reviews

This story was decent. Competently writter. You asked for reviews but I really don't know what to tell you. I liked the fact that you had Azula make up a cover story for Zuko personally and it never being addressed again; lesser writers go for the 'no waste' approach where if something is mentioned it WILL get used, but the fact that you just brushed over it without so much as bringing up the fact that they didn't have to use it really gave the story a more dynamic, realistic bent. I realize it's a small thing but it's small things like that, when added up, that make a story noticeably better.

Meanwhile, I didn't like the casual cursing. Now obviously I'm no prude, I'm on AFF after all, but casual cursing in an Avatar thread by series-named characters always breaks the suspension of disbelief for me. I just don't really buy it, you know? I mean damnit and such is fine if you feel the situation calls for it, but when they start dropping 'fucks' and 'cocks' and, really, even 'bitch' in casual conversation, it just feels weird and takes me out of the story.

Beyond that, it's pretty good. I would have liked it if Azula had always had a little thing for Zuko, but I guess there's still time for her to discover that secretly all the hostility she's shown him over their lives is because she wants deep down always wanted to rape him so hard he goes blind.

Great story so far. I am really looking forward to the conversation between Zuko and Azula. I'm sure it will be quite entertaining. I liked how you set up your plot as it is certainly easy to picture Ozai to write off Azula as a failure as well and then for Azula to try to find her own way to achieve her goal of Fire Lord. It was also enjoyable to see you just didn't have them do a complete turn in their feelings like have Azula say she was sorry and Zuko automatically forgive her and that's it. No you are staying true to the core of their characters and only making slight adjustments to fit the characters to your plot. I wasn't quite expecting Azula to give Zuko a concussion (I actually found this a bit amusing even though I like Zuko) but that just added to the entertainment value. I really enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more.

Nice to see that you're continuing it. The latest chapter is excellent, like the previous ones.

Very meh. Dialogue is clunky and plenty of spelling mistakes. Also quit writing author notes and explanations to stuff people don't wanna know about.

Great so far, are you going to continue it?

great so far keep going

Good story so far, keep it up. Though, you shouldn't care about the reviews, this site isn't as popular as it used to be.

Shaping up to be an awesome story, please keep it up.

Try not to let the lack of reviews get to you, I think if you got that many hits people like the story idea they just haven't made up an opinion or just lazy. Personally I don't like to review because I never know the what to write, but it's the least fans can do. By the way I like how this is shapping up and thanks for the longer chapter, I'm curious to see how you convince Zuko and how long it will take Iroh to chase him. Oh yeah, is Mai going to blow when she finds out what's going on? I look forward to the next installment.

Good fic

Although you say to be a novice, in fact you don't seem it, I like how the story is developed.

It’s a good start, you should not leave it, please continue it.