AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Magazine

by Ingsoc

schedule January 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
interesting all i can say
person Kayin
schedule August 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Not a bad story. You should work on fleshing out the details to make it longer though. Running this one through spell check would help a little too. I honestly think Connie will become more intimate with Bobby once they go through puberty. What fun that'll be!
schedule July 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
How do you spell Souphanousinphone correct, but misspell "cheek"? ._.'

Anyway, you definitely need to continue, this was waaay too short.
schedule May 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Good story but it feels rushed. The ending is specially abrupt. Perhaps a longer more detailed rewrite would make it better.