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for Glory Fades

by selfishme

person fire
schedule May 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ditto. This needs an ending but it was a thoroughly good first chapter.
person Zellezra
schedule January 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hello there,
First of all let me say that this is a wonderful story.
It seems that most of your trouble is with grammar and placing past/present tense. Remember to be consistent, try not to mix the two up. It's tricky though, I find myself doing it now and then, too.
Your word choice and way of putting sentences together to explain something is very creative and easy to envision. This is a wonderful story, and don't be afraid to write more! I'd definitely love to read more from you!