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February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I was forced to create an account just so I could tell you that your fic is crack. Please do not stop... please, please do not stop.
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February 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This will be my first(which makes me a little nervous, even is no one reads it), and probably only real review, unless I speak up again after more chapters, or someone makes reference to what I have to say. I've left a couple little "I really like this story" notes before, but this one was great enough I felt I had to leave a few real opinions. I have to include all of the stories in what I guess you would call The Dark Ocean Universe.
1. The thing that made me truly fall in love with these stories is the whole Pack aspect of it. Not sure why I like it so much, maybe because I used to, and still do on occasion, think of myself and others in that same way.(not to that extreme of course)
2. I should say that I'm actually not a fan of the side stories, except Choosing Your Family, they just feel like they're straying to far from the path of the main story to me.
3. I don't want to say it's a bad thing, because I understand why you did it, but I didn't like that Wade didn't stick around, and I think it's weird you haven't brought him back in, in some form, especially when Kim went back to visit her family and friends.
4. This may sound kinda stupid, I read part of the first chapter of The Dark Ocean about 2 weeks ago and stopped because of Drakken's death.(not a big fan of character death in any story) Which is really strange because I didn't really like him coming back either. If I would have remembered it in there, I probably wouldn't have came back and read it again. This time I've read everything posted so far in roughly 3 days.
5. I not a very emotional person, but this story had pulled at the heart strings a bit through out the whole thing. Parts make me happy(nearly cheered when Yori first showed up), parts make me laugh, even nearly brought me to tears at one point.(I actually think that is the best complement I can give your writing ability)
6. Not really part of my review just something that hit me as I was finishing reading this part, It would be really cool if you could find a good artist to make some pictures of this story, like one for each chapter or something. There are a couple moments I would love to see.(like when Kim was trying to save Shego from the Dark Ocean, I have a few others in mind but won't mention them) Any artwork probably wouldn't live up to the story but still would be interesting to see.
7. I clicked the discuss this story thing and discovered that there isn't actually a place to discuss this story in the forums. I think I might just have to change that next time I'm here, I think I'd enjoy chatting with others that enjoyed it or the writer herself.(sorry if your a guy, but something about the story makes me think a woman wrote it)
Those points are in no particular order by the way, that's just how they popped into my head. I guess that's all I got for now, didn't think I actually had this much to say and still I fell like I'm not saying enough. I would like to leave more constructive thoughts then this, but nothing is coming to mind at the moment. All I can say now is hurry and post more(so I can read more), don't just stop and give up the story, and thanks for writing it.
Diamondflame
1. The thing that made me truly fall in love with these stories is the whole Pack aspect of it. Not sure why I like it so much, maybe because I used to, and still do on occasion, think of myself and others in that same way.(not to that extreme of course)
2. I should say that I'm actually not a fan of the side stories, except Choosing Your Family, they just feel like they're straying to far from the path of the main story to me.
3. I don't want to say it's a bad thing, because I understand why you did it, but I didn't like that Wade didn't stick around, and I think it's weird you haven't brought him back in, in some form, especially when Kim went back to visit her family and friends.
4. This may sound kinda stupid, I read part of the first chapter of The Dark Ocean about 2 weeks ago and stopped because of Drakken's death.(not a big fan of character death in any story) Which is really strange because I didn't really like him coming back either. If I would have remembered it in there, I probably wouldn't have came back and read it again. This time I've read everything posted so far in roughly 3 days.
5. I not a very emotional person, but this story had pulled at the heart strings a bit through out the whole thing. Parts make me happy(nearly cheered when Yori first showed up), parts make me laugh, even nearly brought me to tears at one point.(I actually think that is the best complement I can give your writing ability)
6. Not really part of my review just something that hit me as I was finishing reading this part, It would be really cool if you could find a good artist to make some pictures of this story, like one for each chapter or something. There are a couple moments I would love to see.(like when Kim was trying to save Shego from the Dark Ocean, I have a few others in mind but won't mention them) Any artwork probably wouldn't live up to the story but still would be interesting to see.
7. I clicked the discuss this story thing and discovered that there isn't actually a place to discuss this story in the forums. I think I might just have to change that next time I'm here, I think I'd enjoy chatting with others that enjoyed it or the writer herself.(sorry if your a guy, but something about the story makes me think a woman wrote it)
Those points are in no particular order by the way, that's just how they popped into my head. I guess that's all I got for now, didn't think I actually had this much to say and still I fell like I'm not saying enough. I would like to leave more constructive thoughts then this, but nothing is coming to mind at the moment. All I can say now is hurry and post more(so I can read more), don't just stop and give up the story, and thanks for writing it.
Diamondflame
schedule
December 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"Season 2" opens with a Bang! Still has the emotional connection that Dark Ocean did, and the fight scenes are quite cinematic (my opinion). Good scene descriptions & dialog too.
I keep wondering what it might take to get through Betty Director's emotional barriers; if anything can. I like the way Punk has a bit of Shego's "older sister" feel to her. Lord Drakken and Shego clones, and Doza calling him Daddy, nice touch. It just gets better and better. Betty's emotional conflict driving her obsession with capturing The Pack.
If you aren't eligible for a Fannie award, it isn't because your stories can't compete. I've read a lot of "retail" work that doesn't reach this quality. Keep it up. (Dark Ocean compelled me to register to review, now I have to go read the side stories).
Thanks!
I keep wondering what it might take to get through Betty Director's emotional barriers; if anything can. I like the way Punk has a bit of Shego's "older sister" feel to her. Lord Drakken and Shego clones, and Doza calling him Daddy, nice touch. It just gets better and better. Betty's emotional conflict driving her obsession with capturing The Pack.
If you aren't eligible for a Fannie award, it isn't because your stories can't compete. I've read a lot of "retail" work that doesn't reach this quality. Keep it up. (Dark Ocean compelled me to register to review, now I have to go read the side stories).
Thanks!
schedule
October 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
out of the whole chapter.We had a truely powerful Drakkin. A crushed Shego and so on and the most disturbing thing was the end with the daughters. Keep it up i like disturbing and can't wai to see Kim's response to subject one and the new task force. later
schedule
October 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You know, I think Doza scares me more than anything else, with all that Mommy talk and then casually shifting to planning to kill Shego just like that. lol
Eagerly awaiting more!
Eagerly awaiting more!