rate_review Reviews

Wow. I just finished chapter 10 and I have to say that it is amazing. The whole story is fantastic. It isn't just about the sex between the characters (which is very good by the way). It is about their feelings and challanges to their love. I also greatly appreciate the story actually continuing with the main story. It is a good perspective on how all of the characters would most likely act in this situation. Your work has helped me improve some of my own. Although I haven't posted any yet. Unfortunately for me, I have the undying need to actually finish my stories on paper before I begin posting chapters. Hopefully when I do post them, they will be as good as yours. Who knows, you might even become a fan!

yet another great chapter

i am sooo addicted to this story!! you are such an awesome writer, I so look forward to your updates!!!:)

Interesting... though I'm not really into these scenes with Azula, Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee, etc... But still. Nicely written! ^_^

Now that was worth the wait.

While I'm impressed by the degree of smuttiness present (I mean, DAMN, that's a lot of smut, I'm stunned) I have to be honest and admit some disappointment. I think that, entertaining though the imagery may get, the description could be deeper. Others have praised the storyline, and while I can't fault the general plot I don't think it's believable as written. Sure you're allowed to make characters act crazy, make them say things they almost certainly wouldn't say and soforth - that's perverted fanfiction par-for-course. But it's a one-way street. Once someone acts out of character, does something that can't really be explained, you can't expect readers to take them seriously anymore. There's a bunch of dramatic interplay exchanged between Suki, Sokka and Toph here, but it seems sort of hollow to me because, for example;

1) Suki submitted to Azula and betrayed her friends and it wasn't explained what she was thinking except that she was horny.
2) Sokka screwed Ty Lee and has kept it a secret from those he supposedly loves without any explanation except that he was horny.
3) Toph did Katara and Aang, apparently out of revenge, but there was no explanation of what she was thinking except that she was horny.

I'm not saying I could pull off the same story better, I'm just noting that it sort of seems to be on the fence between random humping and an actual plot, and that the characters should either be presented as mindless sex dolls or as themselves. It doesn't work (for myself, anyway) that they're one thing in one scene and something else in the next. I'm not saying it's not worth reading, that it isn't fun or anything, but it's like every chapter has two separate parts - the smut and the story, and the twain never meet. Why not tell us more about what they feel, why they do what they do? Your head doesn't just shut off when you decide to have sex. Either that, or make them screw until they can't anymore - but don't pretend that it makes a lot of sense when you don't give reasons for it. I think you're a good writer and can make the story deeper or shallower depending on what you want to do, but it isn't reaching its full potential at this middling depth. Choose. If you do, this could go from 'entertaining' to 'awesome.'

HOW did I know that Sokka would walk in on Toph and Suki? Anyway, I did like this chapter. I just didn't like the wait between chapters eight and nine... I'd like to see more of Katara and Aang actually, but that's just me. Keep going! ~_^

You know, the first time I read Chapter 8, I didn't realize that Toph had directed Sokka toward her tent. So she obviously wanted him to walk in on them.

God, I just feel so bad for them. Sokka's torn between two girls he cares about, and Toph is so hurt she's lashing out, trying to hurt him too.

I need more! More! Please!

I have to say this is a wild wild fic. Fun and hey it has an actual Plot. Good stuff.