rate_review Reviews

Since you were so kind in giving me your opinion about my review of Hobs story, I thought that I would return the favor and give you my opinion of your story. This story is the longest piece of shit that I have had the pleasure to stop reading. Its overly written with pointless details that weight down and takes away from the actual story, It going nowhere quickly in terms of plot and story development, and the characters are so overly developed they are starting to seem fake and "created." This entire story seems like it is an exercise for you to use your "extensive" vocabulary to show the reader that you are smarter than they are. Trying to read this horrible story is an exercise in futility that I am no longer willing to engage in. If this was an actual printed work that I wasted my money on, the only purpose it would serve would be to wipe my ass on when I went camping. I would rather read "Old Man and the Sea" again then this piece of shit and that is the worst book EVER written!!!! I seriously hope that you never aspired to be a writer because you are lousy at it. Don't quit your day job to be a writer EVER.
Yeah I know that I'm a bitch, but I got over it and so should you.

Now this is what I call a great belated Christmas gift!

Loved the way you made this into a diary entries based chapter. It was an interesting change of pace.

Now to comment a little about some of the entries:

July 13 - Got to learn a little more of what Shego can do with her powers; always a treat.

July 15 - This was my all-time favorite scene. Huh, I've heard of sleep-walking and sleep-talking, but (pardon my French) sleep-fucking? That's something I haven't seen before! Well, anything's possible for a Possible, eh?

Especially loved the different emotions Shego experienced from the time Kim said Corscan's name all the way to the point where she "crooned" Shego's name.

So, the mysteries of the Shego's home has been revealed. I'll admit I was surprised.

I can totally picture Shego as Lara, wearing the outfit, but without traditional firearms. After all, Shego's got her own built-in arsenal. Ooh, possible idea for fanart!

July 20 - Quite a metabolism Kim seems to have. I actually envy that. :P

And I think that the kisses shared by the two here are the first we've seen in awhile. Come to think of it, throughout the rest of the entries, the two are sharing more intimate contact now than they have been.

July 22 - That's a pretty big secret the 'rents have been keeping.

July 24 - So, Shego gonna teach Kim how to fix things, including restoring what will be Kim's first car. Cool! Knowing the two of them, they might just get it ready in time for school. Huh, I can just imagine the look on Bonnie's face when Kim comes driving up in her new (or rather old but restored) car. ;)

July 26 - Aww, a sweet and tender moment. They just keep growing closer and more comfortable with each other.

That last passage at the end got me very curious! What exactly happened the day and night before? I'm guessing that's what the next chapter will be. Could it be that you've finally decided to reward us, your loyal readers, with the long awaited Kigo HLS scene? Mmm... maybe, maybe not. Knowing you, probably not, but then again... [Growls] This is gonna be on my mind all the time I'm gonna have to wait for the next chapter!

Oh, well, HLS or not, I'll be looking forward to whatever you have planned.

Great stuff, LK! And hey, congrats! 60 chapters posted! Keep up the good work.

Shego's no more a villain than I am, for goat's sake ... she's a MERCENARY, and it ain't a dirty word, either. Sooner or later she'll figure this out for herself, and when she does, I want a picture. And about Kim's "ferret-on-methamphetamine" metabolism, I've seen it before ... I have a (female) cousin who, more than once, no word of a lie, ate a buffet. An ENTIRE buffet. She's been banned from half the restaurants in two fair-sized towns. She's 5'4", as thin as a rail, and a semi-professional barrel-racer. For a pair of cartoon characters, you are doing one HELL of a job expanding their realities.

Ohhh I am so hooked on this story. I hope you update soon cause I´m dying to know things will progress.

Oh, thickening the a bit more, are you? Why not? After all, it's only gotten so thick that you could cut it with a... no, scratch that. It's gotten too thick to cut. Even Shego, with her claws and her powers combined, could barely put a mark on it.

Seriously, Lord Kellendros, is there an actual end to this in mind? =P Just pulling your chain, I trust you know what you're doing. Til then, I'll enjoy the ride. :) Okay on to the story.

You keep coming up with interesting characters. Case in point: Grand Master Uzochi. Based on their conversation, it would be an interesting scene if Uzochi did come face to face with Kim and Shego. I think it would end a little better than their confrontation with Pai Mei, given the way you described the Grand Master.

Seems that Uzochi doesn't have as big a problem as Pai Mei does with Corscan teaching Kim [The Way].

The "coniving snakes and cowardly, creeping spiders", as Pai Mei put it, who brought Corscan to the Masters' attention? Needless to say, this has me curious.

I'm always wondered just how strong Corscan is, and now I know. There's something I'd like to see (read); Corscan VS. Pai Mei! Uzochi basically told us that she could fight the Ancient Master and hold her own, even if he was to cheat. Well, that certainly seems to put a damper on the idea of Kim and Shego beating her in a fight, which is sort of depressing.

Good chapter. The next one you post will put you at 60 chapters! You think you will reach the 100th mark? Even if you don't, there is no doubt that your story is, officially, the longest KP based story out there.

Keep up the great work. Looking forward to the next chapter.

You couldn't write a simple 4 page chapter without adding an entire new dimension to the story, now could you. Isn't it complex enough as it is? Not that I am complaining, mind you. The more complex the better as long as you have it planned out rather than adding random stuff at the last minute. I just think it funny that just when I think I am beginning to understand the characters and their motivations you go and add not one but two new (at least I assume the are new) organizations with separate agendas to the mix. I love it. This story just keeps getting better. Are you looking to publish it ever? I know that it is only Fanfiction, but with only a few tweaks you could cut all ties to the KP universe (or so it seems, who knows what you have planned). Anyway, I am loving your story so far and can't wait to see where you take it. Keep up the good work.

Herald

Wow, I just finished reading all 58 chapters. And I really love it. Thank you for a wonderful read and please update as soon as possible.

Dear Kellendros:
That was some knocking about that the girls took, and Kim getting beaten twice in the same novel isn't something that's guaranteed to improve her disposition, I'm sure. She should probably take a .45 to her next meeting with Pai Mei, but the sucker will probably just pluck the bullets out of the air with his fingers. I am definitely going to have to see the Kill Bill series.
The Master's reason for not killing Kim and Shego reminded me that this story is about Kim's predestination, not in the Calvinistic sense of the next world, but of this one, and that intrigues me, however, if she starts hearing voices and gets outfitted for a suit of armor, I'm so out of here;^)
I have forgotten the chapter where Corscan has the brusque encounter with Nana Possible, would you refresh my memory?
Regards,
M

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA! Awesome, awesome... ****ing AWESOME!!! This was a great chapter!

Pai Mei as the Ancient Master -- nice touch!

Very impressive how Shego managed to maintain her self-control. She's definitely come a long way. On that point, I was suspecting that Kim would be the one who would act first, that's just her nature.

Loved the fight... if you can call it that. Even though Kim and Shego did better than expected, against the Ancient Master, it was still pretty much one-sided. =P I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Those two were very lucky -- Understatement of the Year! -- to leave in with everything attached and in their proper place. If I'd been in Shego's boots, I would've been pissed with Kimmie, too.

So, it seems that on the list of people that Pai Mei hates -- which is just about everyone but himself -- Corscan seems to be at the very top.

So, the plot thickens... again. Seriously, LK, every time another piece of the puzzle is added, you just swap it out for an even bigger puzzle that requires even more pieces!

Loved the stakes that Kim and Shego set for each other for right/wrong answers -- So hilarious! I'm still laughing!

Again, great chapter! I'm looking forward to whatever you've got planned for the next chapter.

As always, a fantastic chapter.

Not much to say other than I liked the whole closet cleaning scene. Very humourous stuff. Especially liked the banter between the two of them while trying on clothes. ;) They seem to be warming up to each other more and more.

So, Shego and Kim plan to try and find this Master of [The Way] to (hopefully) learn more about Corscan's past. I'm curious to see how this "mission" might be, as Shego said, "dangerous".

Again, fantastic chapter, LK!