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February 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter. I loved...Kim was in too much of a hurry to object, but despite her sense of urgency and worry, the fact that she was stripping off her skirt in a dark alley with Shego’s help prompted her to comment; “Y’know, this is not what I had in mind for the first time I got undressed with you…”
Shego snorted and responded; “Yeah well, what are ya gonna do?"
Kim's workout at the gym was cool and her convincing those three guys to take her on in the ring was excellent. Kim's using the skills, both physical and mental, to defuse a situation which could have gotten out of hand was brilliant. :)
I don't particularly think that Drakken's behind the theft. Will have to see if I'm right or not.
Shego snorted and responded; “Yeah well, what are ya gonna do?"
Kim's workout at the gym was cool and her convincing those three guys to take her on in the ring was excellent. Kim's using the skills, both physical and mental, to defuse a situation which could have gotten out of hand was brilliant. :)
I don't particularly think that Drakken's behind the theft. Will have to see if I'm right or not.
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January 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey, sorry I didn't review the last 3 chapters but I was kinna busy with stuff. Anyways, great set of chapters I like this one especially because of the debating, and getting to see what shego beleives. Can't say i don't agree with her on some points. Good to see drakken popping his head into the plot from time to time, doesn't he wonder where shego is? You may have outlined that in a previous chapter and I'm just missing it now. Anyways great 3 chapters, and I can't wait to find out what happened to Kim's dad, as long as he's alright ^^
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January 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please forgive me Lord K; I am sorry I have not been reviewing lately. I was just too busy over the holidays to even read your updates on a regular basis let alone review them. But now things have calmed down and I can go back to following this story with desperate intent like before!
I know quite a few people made a big stink about this chapter and Kim's "date" with Shego but I really think it was a good first outing for them. So there was no romance or staring longingly into each other's eyes... This is Kim and Shego BEFORE season 4 and smack in the middle of STD! They were not friends; they did not even like each other and only recently realized there was a mild sexual attraction between them. I think the "date” is played nicely and we see more of Shego's belief system as well as the new Corsan Kimproved Kimmie doing what "couples" do on "dates" talking about politics and work. I could have done without all the elaborate visual set up at the beginning of the chapter but I know that is just your style so that the reader can really "be there" with the characters.
I can’t wait for more.
I know quite a few people made a big stink about this chapter and Kim's "date" with Shego but I really think it was a good first outing for them. So there was no romance or staring longingly into each other's eyes... This is Kim and Shego BEFORE season 4 and smack in the middle of STD! They were not friends; they did not even like each other and only recently realized there was a mild sexual attraction between them. I think the "date” is played nicely and we see more of Shego's belief system as well as the new Corsan Kimproved Kimmie doing what "couples" do on "dates" talking about politics and work. I could have done without all the elaborate visual set up at the beginning of the chapter but I know that is just your style so that the reader can really "be there" with the characters.
I can’t wait for more.
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January 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
First Date? The question mark is HIGHLY appropriate: this has to be the least romantic/hot first date ever... it's more of a business lunch. Two gorgeous women amidst a fantasy setting of opulent beauty and exotic foreign charms--hot, sexy and pulse pounding? Nope. Dry and cerebral.
Where's the mad passion of new love? Kp's shown herself capable of one-night-stands of hot raunchy sex with strangers, and Corscan; why so shy/reserved now? She even nearly killed the woman in a fit of rage over her lust, yet this plays like room temperature fire.
Not to be a dick about comparisons, but I will: Corscan and KP in the Islands? HOT first "date" with plenty of spark, heat and sex! This? Nope, like dry chicken on plain, dry white toast. WTF? It isn't the lack of sex (I like a great story with sex in it, than just the sex scene), but the lack of heat. And
I'll prove it: neither of these incredibly delectable women comment to a satisfactory degree (or at all) about the other's knock-out appearance; something very basic for a first date. I can't speak for the rest of you, but when I meet an incredible women for a first date, which I'm TOTALLY stoked about, I show it and I let her know that as well. Short of Shego cleaning off KP's ribs-while kind, in a motherly way-nothing says "new lovers;" more like friends or business associates. No "I want to ravage you with my all the moment I get you all to myself." No "I can't keep my hands off you." No sweaty nervousness or mad dumps of euphoric adrenaline (till you almost get the skakes).
On the plus side you've shown your remarkable skills for description and dressing the scene. You skills with wardrobe are commendable; you paint a very vivid portrait. Dialogue is also grade A.
And now Kp's Dad is in trouble? That's a bucket of cold water. Sounds like nothings gonna happen for these two anytime soon, if at all.
As for heat? Set phasers to tepid. This was more about pushing the story along than an event to make note of. It makes one wonder if Kim will ever make anything of the love she claims to have for Shego.
Where's the mad passion of new love? Kp's shown herself capable of one-night-stands of hot raunchy sex with strangers, and Corscan; why so shy/reserved now? She even nearly killed the woman in a fit of rage over her lust, yet this plays like room temperature fire.
Not to be a dick about comparisons, but I will: Corscan and KP in the Islands? HOT first "date" with plenty of spark, heat and sex! This? Nope, like dry chicken on plain, dry white toast. WTF? It isn't the lack of sex (I like a great story with sex in it, than just the sex scene), but the lack of heat. And
I'll prove it: neither of these incredibly delectable women comment to a satisfactory degree (or at all) about the other's knock-out appearance; something very basic for a first date. I can't speak for the rest of you, but when I meet an incredible women for a first date, which I'm TOTALLY stoked about, I show it and I let her know that as well. Short of Shego cleaning off KP's ribs-while kind, in a motherly way-nothing says "new lovers;" more like friends or business associates. No "I want to ravage you with my all the moment I get you all to myself." No "I can't keep my hands off you." No sweaty nervousness or mad dumps of euphoric adrenaline (till you almost get the skakes).
On the plus side you've shown your remarkable skills for description and dressing the scene. You skills with wardrobe are commendable; you paint a very vivid portrait. Dialogue is also grade A.
And now Kp's Dad is in trouble? That's a bucket of cold water. Sounds like nothings gonna happen for these two anytime soon, if at all.
As for heat? Set phasers to tepid. This was more about pushing the story along than an event to make note of. It makes one wonder if Kim will ever make anything of the love she claims to have for Shego.
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January 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ohhhh. Evil cliffy.
Another very well done chapter. Even the socio-political commentary bit is very well thought out and argued.
Another very well done chapter. Even the socio-political commentary bit is very well thought out and argued.
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January 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Have I ever mentioned before that you are amazing in your very descriptive writing. As I said before, as I read your story, I can imagine how it plays out in my head. Yet a lot of times it becomes a challenge. I mean, you go into serious in-depth detail that it becomes difficult to keep track. That being said, it also makes this one of the best and most interesting stories to read.
Nice choice of clothing for both girls.
Loved the location; from the words, "Underground Dreams," I was thinking that Shego had taken Kim to some kind of club rather than a restaurant. As I read more, I realized I wasn't too far off; there was a club there but it was just on a different floor.
The food those two ordered... damn. Where the heck do they put it all?! I guess it has something to do with all that training, huh? And once again, Shego's powers amaze. Sure beats using moist towelettes!
Man, that coversation near the end got very insightful. I was barely able to wrap my head around the whole thing, but I understood it... kinda.
"It's your dad..." Yep, that'll definitely fill Kim with a little dread. And it'll pretty much put an end to this first "date".
Damn cliffies! Still, awesome chapter. Looking forward to what happens next.
Nice choice of clothing for both girls.
Loved the location; from the words, "Underground Dreams," I was thinking that Shego had taken Kim to some kind of club rather than a restaurant. As I read more, I realized I wasn't too far off; there was a club there but it was just on a different floor.
The food those two ordered... damn. Where the heck do they put it all?! I guess it has something to do with all that training, huh? And once again, Shego's powers amaze. Sure beats using moist towelettes!
Man, that coversation near the end got very insightful. I was barely able to wrap my head around the whole thing, but I understood it... kinda.
"It's your dad..." Yep, that'll definitely fill Kim with a little dread. And it'll pretty much put an end to this first "date".
Damn cliffies! Still, awesome chapter. Looking forward to what happens next.
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January 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
At last! I gotta say, I was getting antsy waiting for this update. I know that I've gotta be patient now that you now have to write these chapters out, but that doesn't mean that it's easy. Normally, I'm a very patient man, but when it comes to a great story like this one, where I'm anxious to find out what happens next, it's definitely a challenge. Anyway, on with the review.
The talk between Kim and Monique was interesting. It is true that one's thoughts and one's feelings on certain topics can and do conflict with each other. And that's definitely true with Kim's sitch with Shego. Then again, didn't the same thing happen with Corscan? I mean, Kim saw that video of Corscan killing, and even after that, plus what the woman told her, she still kept going back to Corscan. Well, I hope that Kim will just throw caution to the wind, and see just where this relationship with Shego goes.
On a side note, I love how Monique keeps teasing Kim during their talks. It's a good way to lighten the mood a bit.
So, even though Drakken's plan to use Eric to distract Kim has failed, but he's moving on with his take-over-the-world scheme. Wonder what he has in mind to keep Kim and Ron from becoming suspicious...
I had a feeling Zita would already have a date for the prom, though, admittedly, I thought she'd be going with Felix Renton. Oh well, I'm sure Lance Newman's a nice boy... whoever he is.
A brand-spankin' new bike, courtesy of Shego. Aww, how sweet. You know, even though she was totally against it, I think Kim should've let the Tweebs make some "modifications" to it. That way, not only would it be tricked-out, it would also be practically indestructable, which would definitely be a plus.
Kim's got a date with Shego, uh, so to speak. What will Kim wear? For that matter, what will Shego be wearing? Heh heh!
Fantastic chapter! And now for the hard part: waiting for the next one! I can wait patiently, but like I said, it won't be easy.
The talk between Kim and Monique was interesting. It is true that one's thoughts and one's feelings on certain topics can and do conflict with each other. And that's definitely true with Kim's sitch with Shego. Then again, didn't the same thing happen with Corscan? I mean, Kim saw that video of Corscan killing, and even after that, plus what the woman told her, she still kept going back to Corscan. Well, I hope that Kim will just throw caution to the wind, and see just where this relationship with Shego goes.
On a side note, I love how Monique keeps teasing Kim during their talks. It's a good way to lighten the mood a bit.
So, even though Drakken's plan to use Eric to distract Kim has failed, but he's moving on with his take-over-the-world scheme. Wonder what he has in mind to keep Kim and Ron from becoming suspicious...
I had a feeling Zita would already have a date for the prom, though, admittedly, I thought she'd be going with Felix Renton. Oh well, I'm sure Lance Newman's a nice boy... whoever he is.
A brand-spankin' new bike, courtesy of Shego. Aww, how sweet. You know, even though she was totally against it, I think Kim should've let the Tweebs make some "modifications" to it. That way, not only would it be tricked-out, it would also be practically indestructable, which would definitely be a plus.
Kim's got a date with Shego, uh, so to speak. What will Kim wear? For that matter, what will Shego be wearing? Heh heh!
Fantastic chapter! And now for the hard part: waiting for the next one! I can wait patiently, but like I said, it won't be easy.
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January 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well... it's been awhile and quite a few chapters since last I came round, but I'll try to be brief.
Big-Up for Shego and Kim finally making the small steps to getting together, though could Kim be any more of a hypocrite? She has 'issues' with Shego killing people who've either tried to kill her or (and this is the big one) people who've raped and/or tortured her, YET Kim stayed with Corscan (along with the traveling, the sex, and everything) after being shown graphic proof of Corscan killing others in Costco-like bulk? I'd call that rather hypocritical, among other things... and where was Kim's great moral dilemma then? I'm surprised that Mo' missed that connection. I would have thought Kim would have shed many of her delusions about who and what Corscan is, or at least the things that she's done; I'm surprised she can walk with all of that denial she's draggin' about; sex ALWAYS confuses things.
I'm also pleased to see Shego has the good sense to use the reason, logic, and caution she was born with; someone has to be the voice of reason if your red-headed paramour is only firing on one cylinder (if that... I'd stick her on the short bus rather than buy her a new bike).
Speaking of bikes, nice choice with the Ducati Monster. Personally, I've never ridden the Monsters (or any other 'naked' bike for that matter), but I do enjoy my Ducati 999s very much; a few guy friends of mine describe them as a 'rather fun punch in the crotch.' This glowing endorsement doesn't really sell me on the whole experience.
But enough of crotch pummeling, I have more than a few predictions: Corscan's an alien and or magical/mythical creature; Shego's Orchid is Corscan; Corscan's been working to bring KP and Shego together since the beginning; Everything that has happened along KP's accelerated time-line of development has been planned methodically (and I mean everything) for as yet unknown reasons, though I can guess.
I'm also more than a tad surprised that KP's Nana knows what going on with Corscan and the whole plot but she hasn't told Kim; that's very OOC for Nana or any possible (considering her begging Corscan to leave Kim alone). That's all some BS right there...
Oh, well... Good Work.
Big-Up for Shego and Kim finally making the small steps to getting together, though could Kim be any more of a hypocrite? She has 'issues' with Shego killing people who've either tried to kill her or (and this is the big one) people who've raped and/or tortured her, YET Kim stayed with Corscan (along with the traveling, the sex, and everything) after being shown graphic proof of Corscan killing others in Costco-like bulk? I'd call that rather hypocritical, among other things... and where was Kim's great moral dilemma then? I'm surprised that Mo' missed that connection. I would have thought Kim would have shed many of her delusions about who and what Corscan is, or at least the things that she's done; I'm surprised she can walk with all of that denial she's draggin' about; sex ALWAYS confuses things.
I'm also pleased to see Shego has the good sense to use the reason, logic, and caution she was born with; someone has to be the voice of reason if your red-headed paramour is only firing on one cylinder (if that... I'd stick her on the short bus rather than buy her a new bike).
Speaking of bikes, nice choice with the Ducati Monster. Personally, I've never ridden the Monsters (or any other 'naked' bike for that matter), but I do enjoy my Ducati 999s very much; a few guy friends of mine describe them as a 'rather fun punch in the crotch.' This glowing endorsement doesn't really sell me on the whole experience.
But enough of crotch pummeling, I have more than a few predictions: Corscan's an alien and or magical/mythical creature; Shego's Orchid is Corscan; Corscan's been working to bring KP and Shego together since the beginning; Everything that has happened along KP's accelerated time-line of development has been planned methodically (and I mean everything) for as yet unknown reasons, though I can guess.
I'm also more than a tad surprised that KP's Nana knows what going on with Corscan and the whole plot but she hasn't told Kim; that's very OOC for Nana or any possible (considering her begging Corscan to leave Kim alone). That's all some BS right there...
Oh, well... Good Work.
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December 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh, ho! So now Eric comes into the picture! Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't prom occur a month or so before the end of the school year?
What?! Every bit of info on Corscan is gone?! Who the heck is this woman? Houdini? She'd have to be to baffle even Wade. I hope Shego has better luck! By the way, loved the Bad to Bone ring tone! It's definitely her!
Oooh, Ron almost let the cat out of the bag that time. He came dangerously close to having to spill to Kim that he confronted Corscan. I'm pretty sure when Kim finally gets the truth out of him, her reaction will be similar to how she'll react when she figures out the sitch with the Tweebs. In other words... TAKE COVER!!!
Another fantastic chapter. Awaiting more.
What?! Every bit of info on Corscan is gone?! Who the heck is this woman? Houdini? She'd have to be to baffle even Wade. I hope Shego has better luck! By the way, loved the Bad to Bone ring tone! It's definitely her!
Oooh, Ron almost let the cat out of the bag that time. He came dangerously close to having to spill to Kim that he confronted Corscan. I'm pretty sure when Kim finally gets the truth out of him, her reaction will be similar to how she'll react when she figures out the sitch with the Tweebs. In other words... TAKE COVER!!!
Another fantastic chapter. Awaiting more.
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December 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
3 Chapters in 24 Hours? It must be Christmas!
Glad to see Shego and Kim gettin' together--thought they haven't "sealed the deal;" DAMN IT! I wonder if or when Ron's going to drop the bomb on Kim about nearly being choked to death by Corscan--how shall she react? And KP's turned into a right nasty strumpet.
Good Work, Keep it Up. Please tell me we don't have to wait till the last chapter for Kim and Shego to get together? And why do I get the feeling Orchid is Corscan?!
Glad to see Shego and Kim gettin' together--thought they haven't "sealed the deal;" DAMN IT! I wonder if or when Ron's going to drop the bomb on Kim about nearly being choked to death by Corscan--how shall she react? And KP's turned into a right nasty strumpet.
Good Work, Keep it Up. Please tell me we don't have to wait till the last chapter for Kim and Shego to get together? And why do I get the feeling Orchid is Corscan?!