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September 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very much in character, and sort of sweet. I will admit, though, that I found the first chapter creepy on a never-before-seen level. I mean, let's face it; Boy masturbating in front of a (at least he thinks) unsuspecting blind twelve year old? CREEPY.
But the dialogue is extremely in character, and it's sprinkled with all sorts of nice touches, like Toph talking at the moon at the end of the first chapter. I would definately put this above most of the stuff on AFF.net.
But the dialogue is extremely in character, and it's sprinkled with all sorts of nice touches, like Toph talking at the moon at the end of the first chapter. I would definately put this above most of the stuff on AFF.net.
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September 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
can't wait for the BIG lemon!!! great job on this chapter! i thought it was totally funny how sokka and toph covered the situatuion when aang found them. they're both so sarcastic! they're perfect for each other!
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September 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You write Tokka so beautifully that I am going to go in the corner and cry.
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September 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter ,Loving your take on the world of avatar. Keep up the good work.
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September 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This story never stops amazing me.
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September 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ok, that was cute.
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September 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow! There's something about hot juice from a Vagina.... :P
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September 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I wanna hear the next part. You said one every 5, and It's been, what, 15?
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September 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nice work on your story so far, please do your best to add more chapters ASAP
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September 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Now this is how you write a story, take a bow champ.