schedule
August 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
love it, please keep it up!
schedule
August 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I wanna kick Ozai´s ass...
please let me kick his ass
please let him suffer...
.....Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Ozai!!!!
DAMN YOU YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!
.....
I hope Zuko and Katara will be safe ;____;
please more!!!
please let me kick his ass
please let him suffer...
.....Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Ozai!!!!
DAMN YOU YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!
.....
I hope Zuko and Katara will be safe ;____;
please more!!!
schedule
August 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You know, you could have phrased it "I want him laid to rest immediately." rather than the whole trapping the soul thing. Just saying.
schedule
August 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That said, I look forward to the next chapter. Well done. More, please!
schedule
August 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
^^ *clapping* nice new plan!!!!
^^ *clapping* nice new plan!!!!
schedule
August 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I just wanna hug Zuko and Katara...
schedule
August 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
HI ^^
as always nice chapter
i wanna read more ^^
i´m really ecxited...
how will Zuko safe Katara and Sokka???
Is Katara now pregnant???
gNNNNN I can´t stand this!!!
it´s sooooo gnnnnn.......
More more more more more!!!!^^
... eh yeah......please....
as always nice chapter
i wanna read more ^^
i´m really ecxited...
how will Zuko safe Katara and Sokka???
Is Katara now pregnant???
gNNNNN I can´t stand this!!!
it´s sooooo gnnnnn.......
More more more more more!!!!^^
... eh yeah......please....
schedule
August 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I was so turned on by the smut... it is elegantly written.
schedule
August 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
L,
The quality of writing is again quite good. The hardest part of this story for me to accept is not the sex, however, it is the basic premise that it starts with Aang and Iroh dead. I love those guys! This strategic choice may turn some readers off, but you aren't writing for them by definition. I still enjoy the story, however, and will continue reading.
A few other notes. Katara's reaction seems on target for the situation. Zuko's seems a bit over the top. You make a convincing case that he needs to put on a show for the spies, but I don't really see why he needs to go into the lurid verbal description of what he is doing to her. Isn't just doing it enough? This maybe my own predilection for understatement surfacing here though. Lastly, it occasionally feels that the characters' diction is too polished. For example, at one point in Chapter 1 Katara remarks "Why don’t you use one of your concubines for that purpose?" I'd consider just leaving it at "Why don’t you use one of your concubines?"
On balance, it's another winner. The core plot is again quite tight. This is always an advantage.
As for posting on ASN, we don't really have any rules against adult content. I'd say it's okay to post with an "R" rating. It'd probably be the most reviewed story in the forum.
The quality of writing is again quite good. The hardest part of this story for me to accept is not the sex, however, it is the basic premise that it starts with Aang and Iroh dead. I love those guys! This strategic choice may turn some readers off, but you aren't writing for them by definition. I still enjoy the story, however, and will continue reading.
A few other notes. Katara's reaction seems on target for the situation. Zuko's seems a bit over the top. You make a convincing case that he needs to put on a show for the spies, but I don't really see why he needs to go into the lurid verbal description of what he is doing to her. Isn't just doing it enough? This maybe my own predilection for understatement surfacing here though. Lastly, it occasionally feels that the characters' diction is too polished. For example, at one point in Chapter 1 Katara remarks "Why don’t you use one of your concubines for that purpose?" I'd consider just leaving it at "Why don’t you use one of your concubines?"
On balance, it's another winner. The core plot is again quite tight. This is always an advantage.
As for posting on ASN, we don't really have any rules against adult content. I'd say it's okay to post with an "R" rating. It'd probably be the most reviewed story in the forum.
schedule
August 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
oh god what a live ;___;
poor little Zuko trying to survive with Katara by his side...
yeaah this is a good story ^^
poor little Zuko trying to survive with Katara by his side...
yeaah this is a good story ^^