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December 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
first, you need to slow down and look for errors when writing, it may make it look a little better. second, you seem to have problems with your tenses (he pulled her in and kisses her).
other then that, I'd love 2 see Ulrich get in on this
other then that, I'd love 2 see Ulrich get in on this
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September 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. I like how well written the scenes are, especially in the second chapter.
Will you be writing more of this? I'd like to see Ulrich have his turn with the two ladies; I think that would be really hot...
Will you be writing more of this? I'd like to see Ulrich have his turn with the two ladies; I think that would be really hot...
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January 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow. Neo...Neo...Neo...*shakes head* just... wow. (yes this review kinda sucks, but I'm shock here...I never thought you to have that much of an erotic idea in your head...not like I hated it. *big fat grin*)
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December 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice chapter, and story.This is really good. I hope you continue writting this, and if so update soon/
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November 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was great, you should do a full gangbang with aelita, ulrich, odd, jerime, and yumi next.
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November 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
jeremie is a PIMP!!
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November 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
One of the best fan fics i have ever read keep it up please.
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November 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This was really good !!!
Just like your story Stormy Night.
PLZ WRITE MORE !!!!!
Just like your story Stormy Night.
PLZ WRITE MORE !!!!!
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November 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
So far, so good. You should do something with Ulrich and do something with Odd too
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October 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yo great story i liked it a lot i hope you do more =)