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August 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
First I'm so happy for Sam and Danny are finely together and so are Don and Erin and she pregnant I'm so happy for them
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
update it soon
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please create a squel to this master piece.
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November 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was beautiful i loved it personally i think you should continue it as long as you can
happy writing
....Unvoicedsigner....
happy writing
....Unvoicedsigner....
schedule
November 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A Riddrick fan? How interesting. And yes, you do have to love those eyes.
Now onto the reason for this review—the story. I generally enjoyed it but felt that Erin as an original character and Dan’s radical personality change could have used a little more work, as well as occasional paragraphs that could have been worded better.
Dan’s easy acceptance without any deeper psychological realizations about various things is one point. Human begins are creatures of habit, physical, emotional and morally, don’t change easily. For Dan, he’s been pure Evil for the past ten years, has no emotions or what we would call a conscious even if he is from an emotional human, and has been trapped for the past little while most likely plotting his revenge.
Erin… she’s an original character and you often have to be careful when creating and using those in a story, otherwise it just seems like an author’s self-insertion. I think she was a little to accepting of Dan and feel into the roll you created her for to far easily. She herself needed to undergo more emotional development and realisation. Because if she has the inner innate goodness of moral character that I perceived her to have from what you’ve written, the turmoil within her conscious would have been tremendous.
But I’ve criticised enough and would like to leave you with some words of encouragement. Don’t let people like me stop you from being willing to share your work with others.
Now onto the reason for this review—the story. I generally enjoyed it but felt that Erin as an original character and Dan’s radical personality change could have used a little more work, as well as occasional paragraphs that could have been worded better.
Dan’s easy acceptance without any deeper psychological realizations about various things is one point. Human begins are creatures of habit, physical, emotional and morally, don’t change easily. For Dan, he’s been pure Evil for the past ten years, has no emotions or what we would call a conscious even if he is from an emotional human, and has been trapped for the past little while most likely plotting his revenge.
Erin… she’s an original character and you often have to be careful when creating and using those in a story, otherwise it just seems like an author’s self-insertion. I think she was a little to accepting of Dan and feel into the roll you created her for to far easily. She herself needed to undergo more emotional development and realisation. Because if she has the inner innate goodness of moral character that I perceived her to have from what you’ve written, the turmoil within her conscious would have been tremendous.
But I’ve criticised enough and would like to leave you with some words of encouragement. Don’t let people like me stop you from being willing to share your work with others.
schedule
October 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AWWW!! that was sooooooo cute! I actally made little 'Awww!'' sounds at the very end! That was amazing! You should make a sequel! OR--(get ready for my pathetic ideas!) You should make Dan and Erin stay in the same 'time zome' as danny and sam! And Danny and Sam have a boy, and Dan and Erin have a girl! (hint, hint!) Anywayz....I really did like it!
schedule
October 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was a great story ^_^ I loved it (2 thumbs up) will there be another story with Dan and Erin? I hope so ^_^