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July 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
DAMN, YOU WORK FAST! Oo; Ah, I'm glad to see Gir hasn't become completely obedient, and can be his old self at times. Geez, I'll bet Dib never saw THIS coming when he offered Zim an alliance! And becoming Zim's personal slave... the perfect setting for some S & M action! ;d
And I hope you DO decide to take part in the ZADR Club's disillusionment contest! Most of its members are lurkers, so we're short on participants. ^^;
And I hope you DO decide to take part in the ZADR Club's disillusionment contest! Most of its members are lurkers, so we're short on participants. ^^;
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July 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh, and you're not neccesarily disqualified from the contest yet! It can be multichaptered, as long as it's FINISHED. As for the one-sidedness, that could change in future chapters couldn't it? There's still hope! :D
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July 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
your an amazing writer. please continue the story! imma review you after i read every chapter!
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July 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
For a first fic, this is AWESOME! ^-^ I love it when Dib finally gets around to hating Earth! And I hope this really DOES turn into a long fic! I'll stay tuned!
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July 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you need to keep writing this dammit!!! dammit finish already!!! (make it long. and a good lemony one) that would be nice.
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I definitely like where you're going with this. Are you perhaps writing this for the fanfic contest on DeviantART's ZADR club? Because this ALMOST fits into the theme XD;;
I really like your narrative pacing, though your tense switching is distracting. I would suggest you stick with past tense. I think the story is just FINE in third person, so keep up with that. I like how you described Dib and Zim! Sound sexy...
I really like your narrative pacing, though your tense switching is distracting. I would suggest you stick with past tense. I think the story is just FINE in third person, so keep up with that. I like how you described Dib and Zim! Sound sexy...
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Beautifullly done. Dib's sense of hopelessness and frustration really ring out. I can't wait to see what happens next.
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
continue
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i like it. sorta dark. you gotta keep writing it. imma keep checking on it okay? your a good writer. why is the story told in the 3rd person? just asking.