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August 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Whew! I'm finally caught up with your chapters. I'm taking you at your word (how reviews make you write more) & am hence writing one to feed the creative beast in the selfish hope of getting more of your chapters to read ...
Your lush descriptions of all the scenery through your story -- including Zuko's ship, Sozun city, the palace -- and your attention to details (the clothing, part of the deck being reserved for taking the rhinos out for exercise, etc.) are absolutely exquisite. How do you think of all this stuff? It's like reading a travelogue as well as a story.
And br ... Fire Lord Ozai is so chillingly repulsive. The dialog you create for him is fabulous. But you seem to falter with his appearance. Like ... how can a "shadow" be "healthy"?!
PLEASE, PLEASE do not take offense. I probably only noticed because I am REALLY struggling hard with conveying the Fire Lord's visual presence in my own work. You probably noticed while reading my last chapter, that I blatantly pilfered J.K. Rowling's description of Lord Voldemort (during a flashback in which he applies to Dumbledore for -- gasp -- a teaching job at Hogwarts! Man, I wouldn't want that guy as MY teacher!) for the scene in which Aang encounters a younger version of Ozai.
Yet, even Rowling's attempt to visualize what basically amounts to the inherent contradiction of a shadow that somehow manages to be solid and three-dimensional, really doesn't ring true for me.
ANYways, enough about ME, I'm supposed to be reviewing YOUR story ... The scene in which poor Aang is brought to the banquet and taunted and tortured in front of Katara moved me to tears. Especially when he recognizes Katara and gaze towards each other.
And the way Zuko is slowly realizing how evil his father really is, and how he doesn't know what to DO about this. You also do a really good job with the Zutara thing ... they do have interesting chemistry.
Just one favor, please ... I'd like to see Katara start kicking some butt or at least trying to maneuver and come up with a plan. Though actually, your depiction of her utter powerlessness and ambivalence towards Zuko is WAY more realistic and believable than the stuff I come up with.
MORE! MORE!
Your lush descriptions of all the scenery through your story -- including Zuko's ship, Sozun city, the palace -- and your attention to details (the clothing, part of the deck being reserved for taking the rhinos out for exercise, etc.) are absolutely exquisite. How do you think of all this stuff? It's like reading a travelogue as well as a story.
And br ... Fire Lord Ozai is so chillingly repulsive. The dialog you create for him is fabulous. But you seem to falter with his appearance. Like ... how can a "shadow" be "healthy"?!
PLEASE, PLEASE do not take offense. I probably only noticed because I am REALLY struggling hard with conveying the Fire Lord's visual presence in my own work. You probably noticed while reading my last chapter, that I blatantly pilfered J.K. Rowling's description of Lord Voldemort (during a flashback in which he applies to Dumbledore for -- gasp -- a teaching job at Hogwarts! Man, I wouldn't want that guy as MY teacher!) for the scene in which Aang encounters a younger version of Ozai.
Yet, even Rowling's attempt to visualize what basically amounts to the inherent contradiction of a shadow that somehow manages to be solid and three-dimensional, really doesn't ring true for me.
ANYways, enough about ME, I'm supposed to be reviewing YOUR story ... The scene in which poor Aang is brought to the banquet and taunted and tortured in front of Katara moved me to tears. Especially when he recognizes Katara and gaze towards each other.
And the way Zuko is slowly realizing how evil his father really is, and how he doesn't know what to DO about this. You also do a really good job with the Zutara thing ... they do have interesting chemistry.
Just one favor, please ... I'd like to see Katara start kicking some butt or at least trying to maneuver and come up with a plan. Though actually, your depiction of her utter powerlessness and ambivalence towards Zuko is WAY more realistic and believable than the stuff I come up with.
MORE! MORE!
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August 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow.. these two last chapter where... awesome. the feelings, so sad, so dark, so dispairing, .... no hope but the love that zuko feels for her that she doesnt even know exists.. youve outdone yourself spleef. im sure ozai is sending him to that campaign to die!! i hope its katara who kills him.... poor aang, you are making him suffer so much.. hurry up and kill the ozai bastard, damnit!! so they can live hapilly ever after!!! . ok, im done. take care and keep it up!
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it but a little short but please update soon
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Cool chapter like always Spleef ^^ I can't wait to see the upcoming chapters hehe
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good god girl, the last two chapters were very... powerful!!! Ozai is pure evil... but we knew that. My heart goes out to Katara, Iroh and Aang as well as Zuko after this chapter. Zuko's all about his code of honor, hopefully he'll soon realize that his actions haven't restored his honor to him no matter what Ozai says. In fact, even though he might not be the one who is torturing Aang directly, he's directly responsible for cause of it and for suffering of the girl he loves.
He should realize at some point that he always had a choice, but just refused to see it. It may not have been an easy choice, but it would have been the honorable one. Hopefully he'll realize it in time to rectify the situatoin. I think the last two chapters have been a really big wake up call for Zuko. And even though the last one was brief, it was perhaps the deepest insight as to what's going on in Zuko's brain.
Good job, spleef! :)
(hugs avatar)
He should realize at some point that he always had a choice, but just refused to see it. It may not have been an easy choice, but it would have been the honorable one. Hopefully he'll realize it in time to rectify the situatoin. I think the last two chapters have been a really big wake up call for Zuko. And even though the last one was brief, it was perhaps the deepest insight as to what's going on in Zuko's brain.
Good job, spleef! :)
(hugs avatar)
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aang!!!!! NOoO
Zuko: Aang will be find... you along with ...
Me: Quiet Zuko. Anyway Love the chapter... even though it was shorter than the other ones. Yeah... anyway. Update soon, I look forward to it. Later. K15
Zuko: Aang will be find... you along with ...
Me: Quiet Zuko. Anyway Love the chapter... even though it was shorter than the other ones. Yeah... anyway. Update soon, I look forward to it. Later. K15
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story! I also love the Z/K pairing.
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This chapter was okay. I'm glad I heard about what happened to Aang and what his conditions were. I do hope I hear what happened to Sokka next and that everything will be all right between Zuko and Katara. I also do hope that everything will be okay and they'll find a way to work things out. Anyway, that was a pretty cool chapter; keep up the good work and hope to see this chapter at that other site soon. Good luck with chapter 16. See you soon.
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
aww....so sad, and i really wonder what will happen to sokka and aang? maybe if zuko poisons aang and katara has a kid than maybe it will be the avatar??? hmmmm....who knows ^^
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It was very short, but I like it because it exposes more of Zuko's human side. It also begins to prove me correct! Mwoohoohoohahahaaaa!
To Do List/Mica's List 'O Predictions/Mica's List 'O Suggestions:
1) Zuko sympethises w/Aang's predicament (check)
2) Ozai makes big speech about how 'I got the avatar, now we are invincable!' or crap like that.
3) Zuko goes all 'blue spirit' on his ass and frees Aang.
4) At this point in the plan, something usually goes wrong. Probably Ozai figering the plan out...he's an ass, but he's not stupid.
5) Something dramtic involving danger and Katara's spunky side. Probably her sneaking about and saving his ass with with waterbending. Spice it up with a soldier seeing her do it.
6) Major Zuko vs. Ozai re-match, only without all the polite agnikai dueling rules about not killing your opponent.
7) Something about Aang & Katara reuniting...I don't know...just something with Aang.
8) Whatever happened to that dragonface dude? It makes no sense. Put something with him in.
9) Dramatic za dialouge. that's important. Make it all dark and angsty.
Just thinkin' out loud, but I feel they're all decent enough ideas.
To Do List/Mica's List 'O Predictions/Mica's List 'O Suggestions:
1) Zuko sympethises w/Aang's predicament (check)
2) Ozai makes big speech about how 'I got the avatar, now we are invincable!' or crap like that.
3) Zuko goes all 'blue spirit' on his ass and frees Aang.
4) At this point in the plan, something usually goes wrong. Probably Ozai figering the plan out...he's an ass, but he's not stupid.
5) Something dramtic involving danger and Katara's spunky side. Probably her sneaking about and saving his ass with with waterbending. Spice it up with a soldier seeing her do it.
6) Major Zuko vs. Ozai re-match, only without all the polite agnikai dueling rules about not killing your opponent.
7) Something about Aang & Katara reuniting...I don't know...just something with Aang.
8) Whatever happened to that dragonface dude? It makes no sense. Put something with him in.
9) Dramatic za dialouge. that's important. Make it all dark and angsty.
Just thinkin' out loud, but I feel they're all decent enough ideas.