rate_review Reviews

script format is interesting but you make it kinda easy to follow
this story is shapping our pretty good thus far
WRITE MORE!!!

You need to read more (preferably published books, as they're more likely to be well written than stuff online), and learn from it. Your dialog and descriptions just fall flat. Also, although the script format may be easier to write than normal story format, many people (myself included) prefer to read normal story format.
Finally, next time you upload a story, run it through a spell-checker first!