schedule
August 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
love the pairing, love the concept, the execution? not so much. no offense, this isn't flaming, I just honestly think you need to rework your structure a bit. not that I'm much of one to talk, I've got someone that I badger to edit my stories and she's always complaining that I can space paragraphs a lot more readibly. but I digress. I didn't quite like how Danny seemed to instinctively know every little thing. The narrative was a bit too much like someone giving a lecture rather than telling a story. but all in all, it was a nice little read, and I may just take a look at the other parts. thanks for writing it, there's a shortage of CDD lemons.