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December 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Rockinmuffin, that was awesome, just love it. You made Skywarp so cute. I can't wait to read your next part.
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
A thought just ocurred to me.
I'm a little concerned about Angie's behavior towards Scream. While it is entirely plausible that she would act abusive towards Scream I'm not quite sure where it came from. In part 1 of Insanity, while Angie did make sure he was the submissive one, forced Tron to rape him, she didn't quite seem as cruel as she did in part 2. In part one she mentioned that Scream was the more handsome one, made the lovliest whimpers, and more importantly she had mentioned that he was the one that she could best identify with. In the end of the chapter she was laying in bed with both Tron and Scream, the two of them snuggled up to eother side of her.
While I understand why she show's more respect to Tron, and I don't think it's a stretch that she still allows Tron to mercilessly rape Scream, I can't figure out Angie's sudden motivation to be, not just sexually dominant, but downright mean. You never really showed the shift in this treatment so it makes it both sudden and kind of hard to beieve that she's now calling him "stupid," "useless," and it seems as if now she's not even using him for sex except for his rape sessions with Tron.
Don't get me wrong, I like this story arc and I still think it's a great chapter. It's just, I went back and reread part 1 and realized the pieces just didn't quite seem to fit. Perhaps if you could explain this transition in a future chapter it might help? I hope my comments are helpful and not just frustrating.
I'm a little concerned about Angie's behavior towards Scream. While it is entirely plausible that she would act abusive towards Scream I'm not quite sure where it came from. In part 1 of Insanity, while Angie did make sure he was the submissive one, forced Tron to rape him, she didn't quite seem as cruel as she did in part 2. In part one she mentioned that Scream was the more handsome one, made the lovliest whimpers, and more importantly she had mentioned that he was the one that she could best identify with. In the end of the chapter she was laying in bed with both Tron and Scream, the two of them snuggled up to eother side of her.
While I understand why she show's more respect to Tron, and I don't think it's a stretch that she still allows Tron to mercilessly rape Scream, I can't figure out Angie's sudden motivation to be, not just sexually dominant, but downright mean. You never really showed the shift in this treatment so it makes it both sudden and kind of hard to beieve that she's now calling him "stupid," "useless," and it seems as if now she's not even using him for sex except for his rape sessions with Tron.
Don't get me wrong, I like this story arc and I still think it's a great chapter. It's just, I went back and reread part 1 and realized the pieces just didn't quite seem to fit. Perhaps if you could explain this transition in a future chapter it might help? I hope my comments are helpful and not just frustrating.
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, poor Scream!! I feel so bad for him!! I hope they figure out what's going on!! Btw, is it okay if I try and take a shot at a Soundwave clone? Ever since I started reading this story I wanted to write about Soundwave X3
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow, Poor Scream. I wonder if getting more of an 'outside of his room' view is going to change him. Lots of emotions in that, and it works really well. Tron in the air not willing to say 'uncle' was cool, he refused until ordered. Awesome
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Review for Inanity part 3:
Thank you for the brief glimpse inside of Angie's mind; it certainly made things more clear and gave her more motivation for her behavior. And I understand; when you're writing a story it's hard to keep every detail in your head when you're working on a specific work, working for a specific outcome. That's why we have other authors to critique our work for us and let us know if something doesn't click.
In a way, I think Scream might be one of the smartest clones to a degree, or at the very least he's one of the less blissfully ignorant and more worldly of the clones. All the clones are incredibly loyal to their masters in one way or another, but being with another made Scream realize he wanted someone who treated him nice. This is an incredible development because it means that the clones can override the loyalty they're programmed with if they feel unhappy. Angie better watch her back...
I love how TC and Scream interact. Sharon definitely raised him right; she'd make a pretty good mother, too. I can't wait to see more of these guys. And I must admit, I'm curious to see what Scream's reaction would be to meeting Sharon considering he's yet to meet a kind female who would treat him as an equal.
Well, until next time.
Thank you for the brief glimpse inside of Angie's mind; it certainly made things more clear and gave her more motivation for her behavior. And I understand; when you're writing a story it's hard to keep every detail in your head when you're working on a specific work, working for a specific outcome. That's why we have other authors to critique our work for us and let us know if something doesn't click.
In a way, I think Scream might be one of the smartest clones to a degree, or at the very least he's one of the less blissfully ignorant and more worldly of the clones. All the clones are incredibly loyal to their masters in one way or another, but being with another made Scream realize he wanted someone who treated him nice. This is an incredible development because it means that the clones can override the loyalty they're programmed with if they feel unhappy. Angie better watch her back...
I love how TC and Scream interact. Sharon definitely raised him right; she'd make a pretty good mother, too. I can't wait to see more of these guys. And I must admit, I'm curious to see what Scream's reaction would be to meeting Sharon considering he's yet to meet a kind female who would treat him as an equal.
Well, until next time.
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December 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Reply to StSE:
I hope to cover his in Part 2 some. X3 Vishal will give Kaon a history lesson. But Yes, I see Decepticon and Autobot clones working together... Kekekeke. Once you have Autobots introduced I plan to write a prequel to this that follows one of the Autobot clones that will be a secondary character now. I'd have it touch on the mortality issue more because it will be current events instead of something in the past. X3
Plan to have Part 2 done tonight. I'm at 50% right now. :3
I hope to cover his in Part 2 some. X3 Vishal will give Kaon a history lesson. But Yes, I see Decepticon and Autobot clones working together... Kekekeke. Once you have Autobots introduced I plan to write a prequel to this that follows one of the Autobot clones that will be a secondary character now. I'd have it touch on the mortality issue more because it will be current events instead of something in the past. X3
Plan to have Part 2 done tonight. I'm at 50% right now. :3
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December 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Review for Insanity Part 2:
Once again, I really feel bad for that Starscream clone. I understand that Angie is a tragic character and what happened in her past was tragic. It's odd what trauma like that can do to a person because you usually get one of two entirely different results. The peron induced with the trauma either becomes angry and will put others throug the trauma they went through (as you show with Angie) or they do their best to overcome that situation and fight to make sure no one else ever has to go through what they did. Obviously, in the case you've presented, misery enjoys company.
Tron seems very suspicious to me. Honestly, I wouldn't be suprised if he one day challenged Angie's power over him and ended up dominating her too. Even as a droid, I could see Megatron enslaving the humans. xD Haha! That crazy little megalomaniac.
I'm glad Scream has TC to take him under his wing. It's good that Scream will be exposed to an environment where he's aware that clones like him can be treated well, like equals even, and that he SHOULD be treated well. Who nows, maybe this experience will even give him a reason to be less submissive and learn to stand up for himself.
(I'm hoping to turn in my first submission soon, hopefully by the end of the week.)
Once again, I really feel bad for that Starscream clone. I understand that Angie is a tragic character and what happened in her past was tragic. It's odd what trauma like that can do to a person because you usually get one of two entirely different results. The peron induced with the trauma either becomes angry and will put others throug the trauma they went through (as you show with Angie) or they do their best to overcome that situation and fight to make sure no one else ever has to go through what they did. Obviously, in the case you've presented, misery enjoys company.
Tron seems very suspicious to me. Honestly, I wouldn't be suprised if he one day challenged Angie's power over him and ended up dominating her too. Even as a droid, I could see Megatron enslaving the humans. xD Haha! That crazy little megalomaniac.
I'm glad Scream has TC to take him under his wing. It's good that Scream will be exposed to an environment where he's aware that clones like him can be treated well, like equals even, and that he SHOULD be treated well. Who nows, maybe this experience will even give him a reason to be less submissive and learn to stand up for himself.
(I'm hoping to turn in my first submission soon, hopefully by the end of the week.)
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December 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I've been reading this story and OMFG, I love it to absolute death~
...I've also been debating with myself over contributing, there's an idea that's been kicking around in my head for quite a while but it's a bit out there and I'm not sure how it will go over or combine with the other storylines going on.. Therefore I've been incredibly hesitant to write it. I also can't say I know too much about Transformers, having gotten into it incredibly, incredibly recently. So in a way, I believe that I'm not worthy..
Just like my Decepticon of choice for my first chapter in the planning stages believes he's not worthy! heheheheh~
I don't want to spoil the plot of my additions by discussing them outright here, but at the same time, it's such a different twist that I didn't think I should just add, actually, I don't think I should just come in out of nowhere and add anyway, seems a bit rude.. So I suppose I don't know what to do..
But regardless of my personal indecision, this story is AMAZING and everyone who has worked on it is super win. That's the important part of this review ^__^
...I've also been debating with myself over contributing, there's an idea that's been kicking around in my head for quite a while but it's a bit out there and I'm not sure how it will go over or combine with the other storylines going on.. Therefore I've been incredibly hesitant to write it. I also can't say I know too much about Transformers, having gotten into it incredibly, incredibly recently. So in a way, I believe that I'm not worthy..
Just like my Decepticon of choice for my first chapter in the planning stages believes he's not worthy! heheheheh~
I don't want to spoil the plot of my additions by discussing them outright here, but at the same time, it's such a different twist that I didn't think I should just add, actually, I don't think I should just come in out of nowhere and add anyway, seems a bit rude.. So I suppose I don't know what to do..
But regardless of my personal indecision, this story is AMAZING and everyone who has worked on it is super win. That's the important part of this review ^__^
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December 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
To Dark Mrowlidash:
Don't feel afraid to share, even if you're new! I'm a fairly recent TransFan myself but that just means when I hear something or someone mentioned that I don't recognize then I go research it. The Transformers Wiki is a good source of Transformers information if you're ever unsure about anything. Also, if you want to contribute but you're not sure if you think your story will fit in with everything, just send a copy of it to StSE before actually submitting it. She mentioned her email for this story in earlier reviews but here it is so you don't have to search: anathematransient@yahoo.com
Never consider yourself to be an unworthy writer. If you don't think you're good enough then just work harder and practice more. And never be afraid to share your stories and get crique.
Don't feel afraid to share, even if you're new! I'm a fairly recent TransFan myself but that just means when I hear something or someone mentioned that I don't recognize then I go research it. The Transformers Wiki is a good source of Transformers information if you're ever unsure about anything. Also, if you want to contribute but you're not sure if you think your story will fit in with everything, just send a copy of it to StSE before actually submitting it. She mentioned her email for this story in earlier reviews but here it is so you don't have to search: anathematransient@yahoo.com
Never consider yourself to be an unworthy writer. If you don't think you're good enough then just work harder and practice more. And never be afraid to share your stories and get crique.
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December 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
**Insanity PT 2**
Poor Scream. ;-; I like he finally got to meet TC and Speed so he could see he had other options, (in a sense hur hur.) TC being the boyfriend is so cute! X3 Yeah Starscream would be bossed around and abused by Megatron, but he always still had an attitude of his own. I wonder if Scream clone is gonna learn that~
Poor Scream. ;-; I like he finally got to meet TC and Speed so he could see he had other options, (in a sense hur hur.) TC being the boyfriend is so cute! X3 Yeah Starscream would be bossed around and abused by Megatron, but he always still had an attitude of his own. I wonder if Scream clone is gonna learn that~