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rate_review Reviews

for Becoming Mama Bear

by Breech_Loader

schedule December 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You'll forever be my hero for comparing Professor Princess to a used condom.

I love how supportive of Bumblebee Hotwire is. She really IS just like a mommy. It kind of makes me wonder how old she is, or at least how much older than Bumblebee she is.

I really can't wait to see Bumblebee try to get in between her and Prowl because, believe me, it can get ugly. I never thought too highly of my mother dating her current boyfriend and I STILL don't. xD Give 'im hell, Bumblebee. Give 'im hell.
schedule December 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
the way a human might look at a used tampon wtf? and lmao. That's a really umm whats the word: quirky, weird, strange, obscure thats the one lol. I don't think I would ever think of something like that to compare anything to.
schedule November 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Usually "cutter" stories are a real turn off for me, but you approached the situation in a believable way that made it appropriate for the story. Most people just use cutting as an excuse to make their Sue character seem even more tragic. "Like, OMG, Bobby broke up with me! No one loves me! I'm gonna cut myself because the pain feels so good and then I can show off my scars to some hot guy and he'll help me work out my problems and we'll fall in twu luv!" Here, you have Hotwire damage her body because she's angry at herself for the decisions she's made in the past. She can't kill herself because there are other bots outh there that might need her, but she can still hurt herself in order to relieve some of the unbearable guilt that she has put on herself.

This is why I like the story and this is why I like your OC; they're real. They have real motives behind their actions and think like real people, unlike the plastic OCs that butcher every possible fandom conceivable.

And don't get too discouraged if it doesn't seem like people are reviewing; admittedly, the Transformers section on this site, through updated regularly by a few authors, is not very popular. It's a little harder to get reviews in this fandom than it is to get reviews if you were writing a story for Naruto or Inuyasha.
schedule November 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Okay, so we know who Hotwire will end up shacking up with, what about Bumblebee? Is his relationship status no longer important?
schedule November 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I read the chapters you redid and I have to say that they’re much better now. And definitely seems as if you put a lot more thought into them, so really, you should thank StSE for being so hard on your ass and making you change it because it now has turned out much better and seems to fit more with the rest of your story and writing style. I like these two new chapters a lot more.

And even though rape is a serious issue and not funny at all, the bit about Lugnut calling him “Megatron” while having his way with Bumblebee got a chuckle out of me.

I think you did a much better job at portraying Skywarp this time around; made him much more in character. And, just a note, I’m not entirely sure but I think that the femme Starscream’s cannon name is officially Laserwave. At least, I’ve heard it from more than a few sources.

I like how you made it so that Blackarachnia’s not all that abusive (well, aside from verbally, but that’s just the type of bot she is.) It makes her seem much deeper as a character, as if there’s still some Autobot deep inside her. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m an animated Blackarachnia fangirl. And even though I feel bad for Bee, the thought of Blackarachnia making mechs cry with words alone is just funny to me. I know, I’m a bad person.

Ha! And it looks like everyone wants a piece of Megatron since so many people seem to enjoy pretending that Bumblebee is him.

Well, I'm going to read chapter 11 now.
schedule November 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sari’s and Bumblebee’s reunion was adorable. They’re such good friends. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Oh, Ratchet. No matter what universe he’s in, he’s always a grumpy old mech. Ha! way to ruin everyone’s fun, Ratchet, ya old fart. But he does make some good points, just like how Hotwire has some good points of her own.

I can't get over how realistic and three-dimensional your OC Hotwire is. She's seen a lot of suffering in her lifetime but it never gets any easier for her to deal with. She's indecisive to a fault; so much so that she seems unsure of herself and doesn't even seem to sure of herself even when she fights for causes that she thinks she believes in. Like, even though she argued with Ratchet, it still felt as if she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else, especially since Ratchet probably wouldn't listen anyway.

I can't wait for your next update.
schedule November 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thankyou for finally rewriting this story. The parts that you had taken from Rumble and Frenzy and tried to put in the mouths of other Decepticons never seemed to fit anyway. Neither did the basic flow either. But it was meant for a different story all together.

I hope that you have learned your lesson and will progress as a writer.

schedule November 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is Closet Transformers Fan. I just wanted to use my new account to remind you that I look forward to your stories and can't wait to see the next chapter you come up with. I'd love to see what becomes of your OC and what Bumblebee's going to do in order to protect her.
schedule November 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Its good to see a new chapter! I was getting worried, but I won't ask where you were. I'm just glad you're back. My only concern is, will there still be smut?
person Closet Transformers Fan
schedule November 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, I've seen this story around for a while and never bothered reading it until now. The first couple of chapters were a bit... sloppy, but as the story progresses there is definitely an improvement in both the writing style and how the plot progresses. So, you've caught my interest.

I like Hotwire. She's one of the most realistic OCs I've ever seen in the Transformers fandom. She has a few good qualities and a good number of character flaws which is what makes her such a good OC rather than another hum-drum Mary Sue that this fandom has suffered from time and time again. The fact that her face is mangled certainly helps. Still, I like how her values are split between things favored from both Autobots and Decepticons; it makes her more realistic than if she completely agreed with one side or the other, which is nice. Most people make their neutral characters just Autobots that don't feel like fighting.

You flip-flopped a bit when it came to deciding who her main interest will be. You got me all excited for Blitzwing and then went back to Prowl. Shame on you! Ha, just kidding. I'm a huge Blitzwing fan but it would seem sort of counter-productive if she ended up falling for a Decepticon, I guess. Prowl will do just fine as long as you make the development of any relationship believeble which I'm confident you'll be able to do.

I can't wait to see more. As long as you continue writing (and allow anonymous reviews) then I'll keep up with reviewing.