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schedule
January 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
While your story has excellent characterization, it's spoilt by a very large plot hole.
Clover first sees the Diocam and snatches it from Jerry, in front of her friends. Alex makes the comment that if the girls need rings, watches and tiaras in the future, they'll visit Jerry for more. Sam, Alex and Clover patrolled the Middle East gathering for hours while Clover was wearing that ring.
So how could Sam have forgotten what the ring looked like in less than twenty-four hours? It just doesn't make sense especially when you consider how observant Sam is. Strangely enough Alex also forgot the Diocam's appearance, because both girls needed Jerry to remind them of it later in the story.
Out of ten I give this story a five. Yes, the plot hole was that big.
Clover first sees the Diocam and snatches it from Jerry, in front of her friends. Alex makes the comment that if the girls need rings, watches and tiaras in the future, they'll visit Jerry for more. Sam, Alex and Clover patrolled the Middle East gathering for hours while Clover was wearing that ring.
So how could Sam have forgotten what the ring looked like in less than twenty-four hours? It just doesn't make sense especially when you consider how observant Sam is. Strangely enough Alex also forgot the Diocam's appearance, because both girls needed Jerry to remind them of it later in the story.
Out of ten I give this story a five. Yes, the plot hole was that big.
schedule
May 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
a very good story. loved every second of it. 10 out of 10.
Descendant of the shadows
-Twisteddarkness
Descendant of the shadows
-Twisteddarkness
schedule
January 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I absolutely love your story.It's the best.Thanks 4 writing it.
schedule
November 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is by far the best Spies fic I've read ever. You did an awesome job with this one great work, I hope to read more of your stuff.
schedule
November 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Kuh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!
I loved it.
So much.
I loved it.
So much.
schedule
September 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Let me just say, this is really so, so good. It's so freaking sweet. It's just the best damn thing I've ever read. It's so nice, I'll even print it. It's gold I tell you. Gold!
schedule
August 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
The best Yuri fic I've ever read
schedule
March 12, 2004 at 12:00 AM
wow! that was amassing you have got to write a sequel to this with Alex in it to
schedule
February 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
how terribly......sweet.....very nice,i like it,i really do,i could almost actualy see it like a movie!!if you add another story,you
can expect a good reveiw from me!!
can expect a good reveiw from me!!
schedule
February 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
wow that was amasing you kept ther persnalitys peficly in takt and still kept to the plot you should write more sories about totally spies you have the skill knowing what they whould do in sertin siawations.